Keeping My Hands Firmly In My Pockets- #DearAgonyAmber

Hello Internet Peoples! I hope each and every one of you is tickety-boo aujourd’hui!

So today, I want to talk about being sassy, fierce and independent. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fun triplet to say or type, but it’s also SO important to actually be these things! Therefore, my lovely readers, I have decided to share with you a little anecdote, and hopefully you’ll see what I mean.

During my first year of University, I dated this guy on and off for a little while. It was never anything serious, but he was quite sweet and we got along pretty well. Don’t get me wrong, we were definitely not suited to each other as a couple, but still, he was cute, and I was running young, wild and free. “Wild” for me is generally adding an extra spoonful of sugar to my tea. I’m not normally the kind of person who goes on “dates”, so for me, this was something else!

We were both going to be at the same party in my hall one night, so I was excited for the usual- casual flirtation and my favourite man, Jack Daniels. I went out and bought the cutest little velvet skirt which I’d wanted for a really long time, and I was so excited to wear it. It was silver, quite short, and had adorable little pockets, which I loved.

Later that night, I was chatting to different people in the kitchen, having a great time, when the boy came over and whispered “Take your hands out of your pockets”. I was confused.


“Take your hands out of your pockets. You’re standing there like a guy, it looks silly. I don’t like it. You should be more girly”.

I think if someone said that to me now, I’d have a proper go at them for telling me what to do, but I was so shocked, I felt as though I couldn’t say anything.

Who was he to tell ME what to do?

I was NOT his to boss around.

So, for the rest of the night, I kept my hands firmly in my pockets. And that was the last night I saw him, and I was so okay with that.

There have been so many moments in my life when people have bossed me around, or I’ve let them walk all over me, and that’s not okay. You have to live for yourself, and do things if you want to. Don’t do something to please someone else- you don’t have to be this version of you which they have in their mind. The people around you should love you for who you are, and if they don’t, then they’re not worth having around.

And to my fellow female readers, a boy should never tell you what the definition of feminine is. If you identify as female, then regardless of your actions, what you wear, how you speak, or what you’re into, you are already feminine.

Me, STILL keeping my hands firmly in my pockets. Picture taken by my boyfriend, who doesn't mind where my hands are. Who says I don't look feminine?!
Me, STILL keeping my hands firmly in my pockets. Picture taken by my boyfriend, who doesn’t mind where my hands are. Who says I don’t look feminine?!

This post has been something a little bit different, but I hope you’ve enjoyed it! Thank you SO much for reading, I am so so appreciative!

A bientôt!

Amber xx

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