Who’s That Lady?


I hope that when you read that title, you immediately heard the above song in your head!

I find myself in a very weird place in life. I’m fresh out of university, working two part time jobs, trying to plan my future. And that’s all fine, don’t get me wrong- I am thoroughly enjoying seeing what this season brings, and loving the peace that not being in uni is giving me.

But I have a problem, lads and lassies. And I’ll explain it with this beautiful example from the other day.

I was working in the clothes shop, putting a lady through the till, and we were just making general chit chat- you know, ‘Awk, is it raining again?’ ‘Those are great wee trousers, wash really well!’ etc. The woman I was serving had a baby in a pram, and a daughter who must’ve been about two, who was peeking up over the till, catching my eye, then darting back down, hiding and giggling. I did the typical ‘Aww she’s so cute!’ and said hello to the little tyke, who then went all rosy-cheeked and bashful. D’aww, right?

But it was what the mum said next that really got me. She said,

“Sweetheart, say hello to the lady when she speaks to you!”



I looked around for this ‘lady’, before realising that it was me- I was the ‘lady’ in the equation. 

Something felt a little off about the conversation, but I just shook it off, and moved on with my life.

A few days later, the same thing happened. This time, I was in the Tourism Office, giving a man advice about how to get to the Giant’s Causeway. He was all old and cute and American, and I started giving him advice about extra things he could see or do in the area. He was joined a few minutes later by his wife, who’d come in to see what was taking him so long- he’d just popped in for directions, and yet 10 minutes later, he was still gabbing away!

But then he said a sentence which was equally as shocking as the one from the mother a few days earlier-

“Everything’s fine dear. The woman has been very helpful!”

Who the heck was this helpful woman?! Again, it took a few minutes before it sunk in. ‘Huh, I’m the woman. I’m a woman?!’

The problem with both of these situations was the realisation of something I haven’t really given much thought to. I don’t feel like an adult yet, and so when people describe me as a ‘lady’ or a ‘woman’, the labels just don’t really sit. I’m so used to people thinking I’m much younger than 22, and so I’ve been “girl”-ed up and down for my whole entire life. Until now. Apparently, since leaving university, I have blossomed, and become a WOMAN!

I mean, it’s not like I didn’t know- that’s not what I’m getting at. I’ve had good ol’ childbearin’ hips since I was about 15, a fully-functioning uterus, and other massive clues which would suggest that I am in fact, a woman. But there’s a HUGE difference between being a ‘girl’ and a ‘lady’.

You know that meme on Facebook which says something like ‘When something happens, I look around for an adult, before realising that I am the adult. I then start to look for an adultier adult’? I RESONATE WITH THAT SO MUCH AT THE MOMENT! I know that technically, I’m a grown up (*barfs vigorously*) but I don’t feel like one inside.

Growing up, I guess I always thought that a lady or a woman was someone who had a house, and a car, a job which had regular, reliable hours, maybe a husband and some babies, and a pet dog called Snuffles. Which is why maybe I’m finding it weird to have people refer to me as a ‘woman’- I could almost run after them, screaming ‘I DON’T EVEN HAVE SNUFFLES YET, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?!’

(ON A SIDENOTE, isn’t it interesting from a feminist perspective how I react to this? When teenage males get referred to as “young men” from the age of about 13 upwards, I imagine the transition from being a “young man” to a plain old “man” isn’t such a shock to the system. Whereas for us chicas, we get princess, and the girl, and then sometime, around the 22 mark, suddenly, finally, we might be a woman. Strange, am I right?!)

Have any of you lot out there ever felt like this?! Or, if you see yourself as an established adult, what was the turning point?!

A bientot,


Amber xx


PS, the start of this post featured one song- I feel like the anthem of the end should be that Britney song, “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman!” Am I right!?!


One Comment Add yours

  1. Astute, funny, and aware that TIME moves FORWARD. Grab it. Embrace It. And relish in its abundance.

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